Mental Hoarding
I wish I could only recall certain things unless it was warranted. The other day I was talking to my older sister and she said “I only recall certain information unless it is requested”. What we were discussing at the moment was something very difficult that we went through as a family a few years ago.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. If mental hoarding is such a thing, well then I definitely partake. I have experienced situations in my life where instead of letting go, I dwell and dwell and “hoard” memories or moments that are painful. Disclaimer: I want to be clear and say that trauma is not what I am referring to. Trauma stands on its own, there is no way to just liberate yourself [completely] from something that was traumatic to you. Trauma is trauma and I don’t want to touch up on that subject for this post. What I am referring to are those moments where you know it is best to let go, but instead you bury them in your past only to be revisiting them more frequently than you would really want to. I am a very indecisive person by nature, I overthink a lot of things, it is a terrible trait of mine, and I have tried to work through it as I get older. At night, I have to really focus on thinking of nothing because my mind just races with a million thoughts. Guess who is the last one to fall asleep 99.9% of the time… yup it is I.
This year I want to commit to letting go and letting God do what needs to be done. I don’t want to hoard moments that don’t bring me happiness or make me smile. I want to hold onto things that feed my soul not drain it. If you also struggle with this, I will give you a tool that has helped tremendously. I like to write down my feelings and thoughts and since that comes easy to me, writing down the painful memories and putting them out into the universe is my way of letting them go. I haven’t gone as far as burning the paper like my husband suggested one time lol, but getting my thoughts and feelings onto paper have given me relief. Go with the feeling and just let it out, trust me it feels good afterwards. I did this recently with something I had been putting off for years, and although it scared the shit out of me, I needed to do it.
WARNING LOVEY DOVEY MESSAGE AHEAD** My husband does such a great job helping me deal with this bad habit of mine. He deserves a shoutout… I am so lucky to have him as my partner in life and shout out to you babe when you read this, because you are the essence of the purest love that can exist. For you I will go to the end of the world, blast to outer space, anything to be in your presence my sweet love. Thank you for being such a constant force of love, tranquility, comfort and my very own safe haven. Te amo J.L.G.
“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”
