Open Letter: Childhood
Dear Melissa/Meli/Mel,
You are all grown up now. You still have that inner child in you though. No surprise there but you’ve embraced it kiddo! Remember those “concerts” you performed on the couch in the living room, how you would get so into character to play the part of the singer you were interpreting? You’d pull down your sleeves like Enrique Iglesias would while singing “Solo En Ti”, you would rock out on an air guitar during every Juanes guitar solo. “Nada Valgo Sin Tu Amor” was your favorite song to perform lol.. You would attempt to shake your hips like Shakira in “Ojos Así” or “La Tortura”. Remember Mom saying how much nostalgia she would feel listening to “Sin Medir Distancias” by Diomedes Diaz, because it made her miss her family and life in Colombia. Mom would get in her feelings and you would go over and hug her and tell her it is ok and that you loved her. Remember the Juan Luis Guerra romantic collection Dad would play, and being so enamored with the lyrics? Dad would say “escuche esta canción Melissa, se la dedico a su mama”. You would concentrate on the lyrics and try to make sense of the poetry. Now you realize that “Burbujas de Amor” is a double entendre lol… That also hasn’t changed, you still swoon over good lyrics. Music remains to be super important to you. Although you no longer have that endless iTunes library of music, you have playlists that you have curated so carefully. The couch concerts have transitioned to random lip syncing videos. You still love to write/journal. That diary you were first gifted is falling apart but I have treasured it and handle it with so much care whenever I want to re read some entries. You now have a whole journal collection. Each serves a different purpose.
I hate to break the news, but that alto saxophone is a thing of the past. At the end of 7th grade, you told Mr. Imhoff you wanted to quit and yeah we have not picked up an alto sax since. But the good news is that you are trying to teach yourself piano. As you recall, end of middle school was rough. High school it got a little better despite the fact all your best friends moved away to different schools/states. You made new friends and kept some form of communication with the old ones. Some friendships fizzled out through the years, some got stronger. Love during this time was not the most pleasant experience but it was not your fault, I can promise you that. You blamed yourself for so much, even how much in your feelings you would get lol. It was nobody’s fault, there are things that just happen.
All the hard situations you faced as a kid, you handled them as best as you could. You never gave yourself credit for it though, not until now at least. You were so strong, you really tried your best to carry everything with as much grace as possible. We are finally unloading that backpack of bricks we have been carrying for so long. We will not fight other’s battles. You are first on the list now. It is ok to put yourself first. If you are ok, everything else will flow so much more better. It took us a long time to get to this point but better late than never.
All in all, you did a great job. There’s no question that the negative experiences growing up impacted you but we are addressing that now and things are better. You found love again and have been happily married for three years. You are doing the things you love to do. I am so proud of how far we have come. It has not been easy but we have made the best with what we have been given. Keep your head up always, through the storm and the calm.
Love always,
Grown Up Mel
P.S. You have no idea what bucket list item you will be checking off pretty soon. 😎
Nothing screams childhood like this song. It was the theme song for Free Willy aka one of the best movies ever and the birth of my obsession for orcas.
